My Last Breath
by Haneino Tsukiko
Summary: WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT! Song fic base on Evanescences' My Last Breath Hotaru has made a heartbreaking mistake and can see no way to ask forgiveness so she take her punishment into her own hands.ChibiUsaxHotaru implied shojouai graphic suicide


(AN: this is my second version of this story…the first was removed without warning by the mods because someone didn't think I put up enough warnings about the content. SO here we go this is HIGHLY GRAPHIC even more graphic than the last version just for spite. It's a girl x girl story featuring Hotaru and ChibiUsa when they are older. There are HIGHLY GRAPHIC depictions of suicide. DO NOT READ IF THIS OFFENDS YOU!  I do not own the song "My Last Breath" it belongs to Evanescence. I don't own Sailor Moon Naoko Takeuchi does. Thank you now we may begin.) My Last Breath 

Hotaru sat in her room holding a pillow to her chest. _How could this have happened? _She asked herself over and over. _How could I believe Baka-neko over ChibiUsa?_

A plan began to form in her mind as she held her tears inside. She'd broken the heart of the one person who'd looked past her flawed body. There was no way to ask for forgiveness.

_Hold on to me love…_

_You know I can't stay long…_

Haruka kept a weary eye on her adoptive daughter. She could feel that something wasn't right. "Taru-chan," she stopped Hotaru one afternoon "is there anything you want to talk about?"

"No Haruka-papa." With that she just walked away.

Something told Haruka that her little girl was three steps from gone… But Kami be damned she'd put a wrench in those last three steps!

_All I wanted to say was…_

_I love you and I'm not afraid…_

Hotaru Stared at the empty notebook in front of her. What could she possibly write to explain what had happened? Five months… that's how long it had been since Hotaru had spoken to ChibiUsa. She hated herself as she remembered those angry hurtful words.

"You're just like the rest of them!" She'd yelled, "You only pretended to love me!"

_Can you hear me?_

_Can you feel me in your arms?_

Hotaru shook the next morning. She'd dreamt of being with ChibiUsa one last time, her little bunny…though she guessed they weren't so little anymore, each now in their late teens and in high school. A small sob escaped her before she could stop it.

"Kami what possessed me to be friends with Baka-neko?" she pulled up her knees and rested her forehead on them.

Holding my last breath… Safe inside myself… Are all my thought of you? Hotaru stood and walked to her closet smiling sadly as she pulled out the purple jeans ChibiUsa had picked out for her. Pairing the jeans with a black sleeveless top she attempted to go about a normal Sunday. Sweet rapture and life… It ends here tonight… Haruka kept Hotaru busy for most of the day with movies and racing video games, "Hotaru, you know we love you…Right?" 

"Of course you do." Hotaru gave Haruka a smile that never reached her eyes

The snow began to fall just before supper that night. Haruka caught Hotaru staring out the window instead of eating.

I'll miss the winter… 

_A world of fragile things…_

Hotaru went to her room and sat in the silence, let herself get lost in the guilt and pain that haunted her.

Look for me in the white forest… 

_Hiding in a hollow tree…_

Haruka dialed the phone; she'd had enough of this game. "Mushi, mushi can I speak to ChibiUsa-chan?"

Hotaru lifted an intricately carved blade from her keepsake box. No on ever looked there, aside from her and ChibiUsa

"could you come over? Haruka asked leaning against the door "I think Hotaru is slipping away"

Hotaru ran one finger along the blade watching the silver streak crimson.

Can you hear me? 

_I can taste it in your tears…_

"Five minutes? Alright I'll see you then." Haruka hung up the phone but didn't move from her spot watching Hotaru's closed door

_Holding my last breath…_

_Safe inside myself…_

_Are all my thoughts of you?_

Hotaru sat for two or three minutes "you're stalling Hotaru," she told herself "there's no knight with pink hair on her way to save you."

_Sweet rapture and life…_

_It ends here tonight…_

Her door swung open as she sank the blade into her chest.

"HOTARU!" ChibiUsa cried only moment too late. "Hotaru! No…"

_Closing your eyes to disappear…_

_You pray your dreams will leave you here…_

Hotaru felt ChibiUsa's arms around her. She managed only a whisper as she felt herself slipping into the darkness. "Gomen nesai Usa-chan, ai shiteru…"

Somewhere in the background Michiru sobbed out a scream of horror and Haruka said something about an ambulance.

"Baka- Hotaru. Now I'll be an old woman when you grow up again." ChibiUsa sobbed hopefully.

_But still you wake and know the truth…_

_No one's there…_

Hotaru closed her amethyst eyes savoring the feel of ChibiUsa's arms 'I only ever hurt her, its better this way…" she told herself as the darkness advanced.

_(Say goodnight) Holding my last breath…_

"Taru-chan…" ChibiUsa held her love closer "you'll come back, Right? You always come back…"

_(Don't be afraid) Safe inside myself…_

Hotaru's body fell limp in ChibiUsa's arms and a scream of pain and sorrow was wrenched from ChibiUsa's very soul.

_(Holding me) Are all my thoughts of you?_

The crescent mark appeared on ChibiUsa's forehead, the earth its self trembled as the silver crystal activated bathing the whole city in white light. When the light faded all of Tokyo was frozen in silent crystals.

_Sweet rapture and life…_

_It ends here tonight._

(AN: well that was my depressing fic. No one really knows how crystal Tokyo was created so I figured it would be fitting to have it come to be because of Hotaru and ChibiUsa's love gone tragic. Flame all you like in the reviews but it was something I wanted to do for closure in my own life. My "Hotaru" isn't a part of my life anymore so I'm finally posting this to end things once and for all…for myself.)


End file.
